Lacey Says This...

When she asked me about him today,

It lit up my soul to even think about him.

No body knows how much I loved that man….

 

After I told her some stuff about him… moments later my phone went off.

I had a new text from my friend Matthew…

 

“I am at wacko, and your boys artwork is all over the place. Just
thought about you.”

 

I smiled at the irony that I had only been talking about him SECONDS
before that.

 

That seems to happen to me.

I call these days “Gidget Days.”

 

They make their presence known when they need to.

 

La Luz Gallery is showing his artwork right now.

He had fought tooth and nail to get his work in there when he was
alive.

It took until he was gone to finally get it there.

 

He use to look at me in the eyes and tell me…

“Lace, someday when I am gone I am going to be famous and people are
going to love my art.”

 

I use to get so upset when he would say that stuff to me…. Because I
think deep down I knew it was true.

 

I really wanted to go see the opening of his show there….

But I couldn’t bring myself to.

For many reasons….

Beyond the fact that I still cant stomach the fact that he is gone…

It was because I could not stomach the people who were untrue.

People I have to read about now… people who have claimed to have been
such good friends.

 

Gidget use to call me on the phone nightly and tell me

“I think you’re the only one who believes in me.”

 

‘Yes… I am your number one fan.’

I would say.

 

He would go onto tell me about the Mc Donald’s he ate, how it fucked up
his stomach…. Or how he needed to vacuum that day because he dropped a light
bulb. Whatever it was he would tell me… I knew why he called every night… it
was because I always encouraged him to be him… and never give up on what he
loved.

 

When his walls came crashing down… I helped hold them up,

Every time.

And when he needed someone to remind him he was loved… I was there to,

Every time.

 

 

I got another email today from a friend saying she was going to take
her boyfriend to go see his artwork. It made me smile… because that was so
badly what he wanted.

 

I remember walking into his art shows… The room with three or four
people.

He would turn around to see who walked in,

And every time he saw me his face lit up.

 

His shirt would always be covered in crumbs, from chips or whatever
appetizers were out that day.

 

He would smile hugely.

His pale blue eyes freezing the entire room over.

 

He would watch me study every painting. I could feel his stare burning
into the side of my face.

He wanted to make sure I had internal commentary on every painting. On
every stroke, every color… every shape.

He would ask me later what I thought.

Would text me every time a piece was sold.

I was expected to explain what I thought of the set up… what I thought
of the crowd. He would want to know which one was my favorite…

 

I learned quickly not to answer this… because when I did he would give
me that piece at the end of the show.

This is how I acquired my favorite piece called

"Look
At All Those

Tasty Cakes"

 

I loved this one… it
was of three dolls sitting around with a plate of cupcakes.

He gave it to me for
my birthday, which was right after his show.

I had no idea it
would be the most important thing I own.

 

I wish I could go in
there and see his work.

I really do.

A beautiful gallery
with the walls lined with my favorite persons art.

But I don’t think I
can.

Because it will never
be the same.

And I don’t know if I
will ever really be able to face the fact that he is gone.

 

I am glad he made
himself know today…

Because I was really
beginning to miss him.